How long does it take to love someone? This question is like asking a cup of coffee how long to brew the most flavorful, the answer always varies from person to person, but people can not help but want to explore a standard. In the river of love, some people fall in love at first sight, as if predestined in a previous life; some people are as slow as tea, need to savor to feel the depth. Well, let’s listen to what the experts say, perhaps in this complex emotional world, to find a hint of guidance.

Psychologist Robert Stenberg put forward the love triangle theory, that love consists of passion, intimacy and commitment to three parts. Passion, which tends to come and go quickly, may be the spark of love at first sight or the occasional burst of ardor during a long time together. Intimacy, on the other hand, is the deep connection between two people emotionally, cognitively, and life-wise, which takes time to develop. As for commitment, it is more the expectation and determination for the future life together, which is based on the solidity of the first two. From this perspective, loving someone is not a simple matter of time, but a process of interaction and evolution of these three elements among individuals.

Sociologists, on the other hand, tend to interpret it from a socio-cultural perspective. In the fast-paced modern life, the phenomenon of “flash love and flash marriage” is common, and people seem to be more and more eager to give love a name, but ignoring the patience and delicacy of love itself. On the contrary, in some regions with deep traditional culture, people are more inclined to “love over time”, and believe that time is the best way to test the authenticity of love. This difference reflects the different understanding and expectation of love in different cultures.

But no matter which viewpoint, it is impossible to give an exact timetable. Because love, after all, is a matter of two people, it is about personality, experience, values and even chemistry. Just like in the movie “Love Before Dawn”, Jesse and Celine’s chance encounter in Vienna, just one night of conversation, let them identify each other, which is the perfect combination of passion and soul resonance. And in “Parental Love”, Jiang Defu and Anjie’s initial incompatibility to the final mutual love, is the deep friendship precipitated by the years.

So how do you recapture that warmth at first sight in your marriage, or make love continue to heat up in the midst of mediocrity? Here are a few tips that may help you.

First, stay curious. Stay as curious about your partner as you were when you first met, exploring their new hobbies, ideas, and even those little everyday habits. This curiosity will keep your conversations fresh and avoid the awkwardness of an old married couple with nothing to talk about.

Second, create memories together. Whether it’s a short weekend trip, a candlelight dinner at home, or even watching an old movie together, these common experiences can become deposits in the bank of your love, making the relationship deeper.

Furthermore, learn to listen and express. In the busy life, do not forget to give each other a listening ear, a chance to express love. Sometimes, a simple “I love you” and a warm hug can dissolve all the fatigue and misunderstanding.

Lastly, keep growing. Love is not a bondage, but a way to make each other a better version of yourself. Maintaining your personal interests and pursuing career advancement will not only make you more attractive, but also inject new vigor into your love.

Remember, loving someone is not simply measured in time, but felt with the heart and proven with action. In this fast-paced world, it may be worthwhile to slow down and give love a little time, so that it can slowly ferment and blossom into the most brilliant colors. After all, the best love, often inadvertently, quietly bloom.