Is it better to keep in touch with your ex or cut off contact? How do you decide? This is a tricky question that many people face after a relationship ends. On the one hand, we may still have nostalgia for the past and want to continue to get along as friends; on the other hand, cutting off contact may make it difficult for new relationships to take root, or even lead to more entanglements and pain. So, how exactly should we make a wise choice on this issue?

First of all, we need to realize that everyone deals with relationships differently. Some people think that they can still be friends after a breakup and that keeping a certain amount of contact is a form of respect for the past; while others feel that after a breakup, they should completely cut off contact so that they can get out of the shadows faster and embrace a new life. There is no right or wrong between these two views, the key lies in which one is more suitable for your own psychological needs and current situation.

Imagine if the reason you and your ex broke up was because of personality disagreements or differences in values, then continuing to keep in touch after the breakup may keep you coming back to those irreconcilable conflicts, leading to recurring emotions and difficulty in truly letting go. In this case, cutting off contact may be a better option. Give yourself some time and space to heal and grow until you’re able to look at past relationships in a more peaceful frame of mind.

However, if the reason for your breakup was milder, such as a long-distance relationship due to work, or because you don’t share the same goals at this stage of your life, then it’s not a bad idea to maintain some contact. But this requires both of you to have a clear sense of boundaries and be clear about who and where you are now. For example, you can occasionally talk about the recent situation, share some interesting things in life, but avoid involving emotional issues, and do not easily go to test each other’s emotional state. Such a connection is more like a reminiscence of the good old days than an interference in the present relationship.

Before making a decision, ask yourself a few questions: do I still have fantasies about my ex? Will our connection affect my life and relationship now? Will I be able to deal with past relationships and present connections in a mature, rational manner? These questions can help you get a clearer picture of your inner needs and current situation so that you can make a more appropriate decision.

Of course, whether you choose to stay in touch or cut off contact, there needs to be a gradual transition process. Don’t suddenly go from being close to being strangers, or from being out of touch to interacting frequently. Such a drastic change may cause your mood to fluctuate dramatically, which is not good for your mental health. Instead, you can try to gradually reduce the frequency of contact, or gradually dilute the sense of boundaries between you and your partner by doing something gentle, such as deleting some of your social media interactions.

During this process, you can also try some self-healing methods, such as cultivating new hobbies, making new friends, and engaging in psychological counseling. These methods can help you shift your focus better, reduce your dependence on and nostalgia for the past, and thus get out of the emotional haze faster.

Finally, remember one thing: no matter which way you choose to deal with your relationship with your ex, the most important thing is to respect your own feelings and needs. Don’t make decisions that go against your heart just to meet other people’s expectations or to avoid facing reality. Your happiness and growth is what matters most, and all this requires you to face and deal with your past feelings and present relationship in a more mature and rational manner. Only then will you be able to walk with more determination and confidence on the road ahead.