The novelty wears off, the passion recedes, and twenty years of marriage is so difficult. This is not just a sentiment, but a reality that many people have to face in the long run of marriage. When love from the passionate to bland as water, when once the heart was replaced by daily trivial, we can not help but ask: is it twenty years of marriage, destined to be a difficult trek?

In fact, marriage is never a static picture of the landscape, but a picture that needs to be constantly depicted and updated. Freshness, this seemingly ethereal but vital thing, is not a luxury of marriage, but the result of our attentive management. However, in the day-to-day life together, we are often prone to fall into an “old married couple” inertia thinking, take everything for granted, no longer bother to create surprises, no longer deliberately to maintain the heartbeat of the first time we met.

I remember there is such a couple, married for twenty years, from the initial sweet love, to the later respect for each other, and then to the final strangers. The story between them is like the epitome of many marriages. Wife Xiaofang said: “When we first got married, he would bring me a bouquet of flowers every day and arrange a romantic date every weekend. But now, not to mention flowers, even a greeting has become a luxury.” And her husband, Da Zhi, said helplessly, “Work is so busy, and there are still a bunch of things waiting for me to deal with at home, how can I still have the heart to engage in those fancy things.”

Their marriage is like a pool of stagnant water, lacking flow and vitality. Freshness, the secret that once kept their love fresh, has now become the thing they most desire but are most difficult to reach.

However, is freshness in marriage really that difficult? Actually, it is not. Freshness doesn’t have to be created by earth-shattering gestures; it stems more from our love of life and concern for our partner. A warm greeting, an unintentional little surprise, a long-lost world of two can be the fresh blood in a marriage and make love shine again.

For example, you can prepare an elaborate candlelight dinner on each other’s birthday or anniversary, it doesn’t need to be so expensive, but it must be heartfelt. You can make a cup of hot tea for the other person and hand him/her a warm hug after a busy day. You can also put down your cell phone, turn off the TV and go out for a walk or ride together on the weekend to enjoy your time together.

Of course, in addition to these small daily surprises, we can also improve mutual understanding and tacit understanding by learning new skills or hobbies together. For example, learning a foreign language together, practicing yoga or cooking together, these common experiences can not only make your life more colorful, but also let you grow together in mutual support.

More importantly, we need to learn to keep a grateful heart in our marriage. Grateful for each other’s contribution to us, grateful for every day we walk together. When we can look at every bit of our marriage with a grateful heart, we will realize that our marriage is full of so much beauty and touching.

In addition, psychological studies have shown that injecting freshness into the relationship on a regular basis can effectively enhance the satisfaction and happiness of couples. For example, you can try some new ways of communication, such as writing letters and sending text messages to express your love; or attend some emotional workshops together to learn how to better understand and support each other.

Therefore, the freshness is gone and the enthusiasm is receding is not the inevitable destination of a twenty-year marriage. As long as we are willing to operate with our hearts, willing to give to each other, and willing to look for those extraordinary moments in our ordinary days, then our marriage can be like a song that never stops, always full of vigor and hope.

Remember, marriage is a long journey, and freshness, is the most beautiful scenery on our journey. Don’t let the minutiae of life and the passage of time dull our desire and pursuit of love. Let’s work together to make marriage the best part of our lives!