Why did he fall in love with her? It turns out that the secret behind it is this

In the world of love, we often encounter such confusion: why would he choose her instead of me? Obviously I have given so much, why he finally turned away and into the arms of another person? Today, we will talk about this topic that makes people both curious and heartbreaking, revealing what secrets lie behind those seemingly unbelievable love choices.

Often times, love doesn’t exactly follow our expectations and logic. It is like a sudden rain that catches people off guard, yet they feel a different kind of beauty in the freshness after the rain. Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li are college classmates, and they have been inseparable since their freshman year of college, making them the golden couple in everyone’s eyes. However, shortly after graduating from college, Zhang suddenly announced that he was with another girl, Wang. The news was like a bolt from the blue, leaving Xiao Li unable to get over it for a long time. She did not understand, she and Xiao Zhang so many years of feelings, how can not beat a person who just met not long ago?

In fact, the choice of love is often more complicated than we think. It is not only about the appearance, character, family situation these external conditions, but also involves the deep emotional needs and psychological resonance. The reason why Wang was able to win Xiao Zhang’s heart may be precisely because she touched those soft corners of Xiao Zhang’s heart that Xiao Li had not touched.

Psychological research shows that when people choose a partner, they often tend to look for those who can satisfy their “unfinished complex”. The so-called “unfinished complex” refers to an individual’s unfulfilled desires or emotional needs for some reason during the process of growing up, and these unfinished emotional tasks will subconsciously affect our mate selection criteria. For example, a person who lacks mother’s love since childhood may be more inclined to choose partners who are gentle and considerate and can give him motherly care in adulthood.

In the relationship between Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li, perhaps Xiao Li has always played the role of the “strong one”, she is independent, strong and always able to solve all kinds of problems for Xiao Zhang. However, this kind of excessive independence and strength also makes Zhang subconsciously feel a kind of pressure. What he longs for is perhaps a partner who can let down his defenses and show his vulnerable side. And Xiao Wang, happens to be such a person. She is gentle and delicate, knows how to listen to Xiao Zhang’s heart, and gives him enough support and encouragement. In front of Xiao Wang, Xiao Zhang can not have to hide his vulnerability and insecurity, which makes him feel more relaxed and comfortable than ever.

Of course, this is not to say that Xiao Li is not good enough or that her contribution is meaningless. On the contrary, Li’s independence and strength are her valuable qualities, but these qualities may not be so “right” when Zhang needs emotional comfort. Love is like this, it sometimes need us to put down their own “good”, to cater to each other’s “needs”.

So, in the face of such a choice of love, what should we do? Is to continue to sink in the pain can not be extricated, or bravely out of the shadow, looking for their own happiness?

First of all, we have to learn to accept the reality. Love is free, everyone has the right to choose their own partner. Even if we are no longer willing and sad, we can not change the fact that has happened. Accepting the reality is the first step out of the pain.

Secondly, we need to reflect on ourselves. In love, we are often prone to fall into the trap of self-centered thinking that we should be rewarded for what we give. However, love is not a transaction, it requires mutual understanding and tolerance on both sides. Reflecting on our shortcomings and areas for improvement in a relationship can help us grow and progress better.

Finally, we have to believe in the future. Every lost love is an opportunity to grow. It allows us to know ourselves better and how to love and be loved. As long as we keep a positive mindset and bravely meet the challenges and opportunities in the future, we will be able to find our own happiness.

Love is a beautiful adventure which makes us grow up in laughter and tears. Regardless of the outcome, we should cherish every encounter and parting, for they are the most precious memories in our lives.