Married life is as dull as water, is the love faded, or each other has become the most familiar strangers? This question, like a fine needle, inadvertently into the hearts of many couples. Once the vow of alliance, seems to be the daily minutiae diluted, those passionate years, now only the mundanity of the wood, rice, oil and salt. We can’t help but ask, is marriage really the grave of love? Or is it just an excuse for not wanting to face reality and find an excuse for the dullness?

I remember when I first got married, Zhang and Li were always inseparable, and their circle of friends was full of photos of their love and sweet words. But now, their conversations have changed from “Honey, what are we having for dinner tonight?” to “whatever, whatever”. The TV at home has become the most faithful audience, and the couple swipes their cell phones individually, occasionally looking up just to discuss their children’s studies or trivial matters at home. Zhang began to wonder if love has really faded, have they become each other’s most familiar strangers?

In fact, such feelings are not uncommon. In the long run of marriage, many people will go through such a stage. There is a concept in psychology called “love fatigue”, which refers to the fact that in a long-term intimate relationship, due to the day-to-day living together, both parties may feel a lack of freshness, or even boredom. But this does not mean that love has really disappeared, but it exists in a deeper, more introverted way.

So, how can we rediscover that warmth in our married life? The key lies in the fact that we have to learn to discover the details of love in our daily life and run the relationship with all our heart.

First of all, try to create some belong to the two of you “small happiness”. These don’t have to be the fanfare of romance, such as watching a movie together every Friday night, or set aside one day a month to go to the place where you fell in love when you went for a walk. These little rituals can stir up a ripple in the mundane life and make each other feel that the other still cares and is still working on the relationship.

Secondly, it is vital to maintain effective communication. Often, we feel strange to each other because we no longer share each other’s thoughts and feelings as we once did. Why don’t you set up a “family sharing time” where you put down your cell phone, turn off the TV, and listen to each other. Even if it’s just to talk about a little thing that happened today, it can enhance mutual understanding and intimacy.

Furthermore, it is also a good choice to cultivate some hobbies together. It can not only enrich your life, but also in the process of common pursuit of goals, deepen each other’s tacit understanding and dependence. For example, if you both like to travel, you may want to plan a short trip; if both are interested in cooking, then try to do a few new dishes together, and enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes from working together to accomplish something.

Of course, both partners in a marriage need to learn to be independent and grow. This doesn’t mean alienating each other, but rather giving each other enough space to pursue their personal dreams and goals while maintaining intimacy. When you see the other person progressing, you will also be inspired to value the relationship more.

Finally, don’t forget to give thanks and praise. In marriage, we are often so used to each other’s giving that we forget to express our gratitude. Starting today, say “thank you” or “I love you” to each other every day, these simple words have incredible power to make your relationship stronger.

Marriage is not the grave of love, but the sublimation of love. When you walk hand in hand through those ordinary days, looking back, you will find that those seemingly insignificant moments, in fact, are the truest form of love. Therefore, do not let the triviality of life blindfolded, with the heart to feel, with action to prove that love has never left, it is just a different way to accompany you around.